Persuasive letter

Dear friend/relative;

I have noticed that you are not a member of The Yellow Chicken Society. It is a wonderful community if you are tired of obese people and/or you like video games. The leader of the society is known as The Yellow Chicken. By limiting how much our members weigh, we have created an ideal society without any large people bocking your way, eating all the food, or accidentally sitting on you. We also have a bi-annual video game tournament, the winner of each tournament receives the golden chicken trophy. It is a very pretty trophy. We also have a nice election system. At ANY time a person is welcome to challenge the leader, if he/she provides proof that the leader has been unlawful, to a Street Fighter video game battle. The winner is the new leader. The Yellow Chicken has absolute power to do anything if approved buy the golden trophy holders. Upon entry of the society, you get a psp and a guide on how not to be overweight.

sincerely,
The Current Yellow Chicken